I've Never Had Counselling Before. What Happens?
If you've never had counselling before, you might have a few questions.
What do I say? What will the counsellor ask me? Will I have to talk about my childhood? What if I get emotional? What if I don't know where to start?
The good news is, you don't need to have counselling figured out before you begin.
So, what actually happens?
Usually, the first step is simply making contact.
With me, we can start with a free 30-minute telephone consultation. It's an informal opportunity to tell me a little about what's been happening, ask questions and get a feel for whether you think I might be the right counsellor for you.
There's no pressure to book.
If you decide you'd like to continue, we'll arrange your first counselling session.
Your first session
The first session is about getting to know each other and understanding what has brought you to counselling.
We might talk about:
What's been happening in your life
What you're finding difficult at the moment
How things are affecting you
What you'd like to get from counselling
What you hope might change
I'll also explain how counselling works, including confidentiality and the boundaries of our work together.
You don't need to tell me your whole life story.
You don't need to have the perfect words.
And you certainly don't have to talk about something you're not ready to discuss.
What if I don't know what to say?
That's probably one of the most common worries people have.
You might simply know:
“I'm not myself at the moment.”
“I can't switch my head off.”
“Things have got too much.”
“My relationship is struggling.”
“I'm angry all the time.”
“I don't know what's wrong, but I know something isn't right.”
That's enough to start a conversation.
We can work things out together.
Do I have to talk about my childhood?
No.
Counselling isn't about forcing you to talk about things you don't want to discuss.
Sometimes understanding your past can help make sense of what's happening now. Sometimes the focus is much more on what's happening in your life today.
You set the pace.
What if I get emotional?
That's okay too.
You might cry. You might get angry. You might struggle to find the words. You might even laugh when talking about something difficult.
There isn't a “right” way to react in counselling.
You don't have to apologise for having emotions.
What if I've always dealt with things myself?
You wouldn't be alone in thinking that.
Some people have spent years being the person everyone else relies on. Asking for help can feel unfamiliar, uncomfortable or even like a weakness.
It isn't.
Sometimes talking to someone outside your usual circle gives you the opportunity to say things you haven't been able to say anywhere else.
And you don't have to wait until everything falls apart before reaching out.
You don't have to be a “counselling person”
You might have always thought counselling wasn't for you.
Maybe you've never talked about your feelings.
Maybe you don't like talking about yourself.
Maybe you've tried to deal with everything on your own.
That's okay.
You don't need to know how counselling works. You just need to be willing to have a conversation.
From there, we can take it one step at a time.
Thinking about giving counselling a try?
I'm Keith Vaughton, an NCPS Accredited Counsellor based in Rossendale, supporting adults across Rossendale, Rawtenstall, Haslingden, Bacup, Burnley and surrounding areas.
If you're unsure whether counselling is right for you, start with a conversation.
Free 30-minute telephone consultation. No pressure. No judgement.
Talk. Understand. Move forward.